Episode 18: The Making of SPLIT

September 21, 2016
Three years after I typed the first words of the SPLIT story, I published the first Podcast. But as I finished writing, recording, and editing the SPLIT Podcast, it was so fun to realize that the making of this Podcast was a story in it of itself.

This episode is the story of how the SPLIT Podcast came to be. I hope you learn more about the story you are in right now, and I hope that brings about more hope for you :)

Peace and Freedom y'all! See you on Friday, Sept 23rd at Mantra Coffee Company for the Be Free Party!

Episode 17: The Brides

August 29, 2016

This is the FINAL episode of the SPLIT Story, but not the end of the Podcast. Next week, this podcast will change names from SPLIT to BE FREE- and I couldn't be more pumped about it. Thank you for listening to this story and sharing it out with your friends. The beginning of this episode is about STORY, the BE FREE PARTY (September 23rd, 7pm, Mantra Coffee Company) and the future of this movement. The BE FREE shirts are on their way to me, and you can order yours at befreestories.com (BE FREE means you are a safe person to come out to!) I love you guys, thank you for listening, and I can't wait to see you all at the Be Free Party. 

Story Concepts I got from Donald Miller's "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years"

SPLIT Story Podcast scored by Corey Nicoles Martin
Edited by Jackie Tackaberry and Sarah Lochelt
Artwork by Leslie Terada

Peace & Freedom friends <3

Episode 16: Hope is on the Horizon

August 22, 2016

Kyle wrote me a letter about the story of our friendship. I read the letter out loud with him sitting by me, so that I could crash into him every time I came to a section I couldn't bear. Once again, he held me, and he cried with me.

And then, when I finished the letter, I knew I had to do something that I could have never done before. 


Come join us on September 23rd at 7PM at Mantra Coffee Company in Azusa, CA for a night of music, art, storytelling, and freedom. The BE FREE Party is the launch of the BE FREE initiative (BE FREE means you are a safe person to come out to). There are already so many of you that have RSVP'd and I can't wait to see you all and celebrate with you there!!

Peace and freedom y'all :)

Episode 15: A Place of Freedom

August 15, 2016

This episode documents the first time I ever recorded my own story for someone else to read. Kyle asked me to write down everything that happened between us, and I don’t think there is anything more beneficial that I could have done after everything happened (If you haven’t tried this, I highly recommened WRITING down your own story – you may find that there is more there than you think, and you may begin to make some new connections between seemingly random experiences in your past).

Also, there are a ton of announcements in the beginning of this episode about the Be Free Party!! I’m so excited to begin unveiling what the evening will look like by telling you some of the incredible artists that will be joining us!

Peace and Freedom my friends!


Episode 14: SB1146

August 8, 2016

To be honest, this is me trying something new. This is me giving a free flow of thought, conversation, and story (which I believe is the answer). I hope it helps to bring about reconciliation and grace.

Peace and Freedom friends.

Episode 13: True Love

August 8, 2016

The moments in our lives in which we enter a doorway through which we cannot return. The moments when we realize we were chasing after something we wanted instead of something we needed for so long. The moments when everything finally begins to fit together, and we become whole. The moments when true love drives out our fear.

Those are the moments in Episode 13: True Love.

Peace and Freedom my friends :)


Episode 12: See You in the Morning

July 25, 2016

Usually, when I am at a loss as to what I should do next, I try to figure out what it is I am most afraid to do. Oftentimes, what I am most afraid to do and what I want to do the most are the exact same thing and in order to get moving towards that thing, I need others to push me towards it. 

I told Bret that I needed to come out, but I couldn't do it alone, so I needed him to make me do it. And so in a dorm room surrounded by hundreds of freshman men, Bret invited over the dearest people to me and threw together one of the most beautiful nights of my life. 

While recording and reliving this episode, I am still in shock that this actually took place. May this scene bless you as it continues to bless me. 

Peace and Freedom my friends.

Episode 11: The Peace of Knowing

July 18, 2016

With just a month left in college, a new hope came about in my life. It was something that I thought I never wanted, but I couldn't see that I needed it until the facades of perfection were lifted. 

"I need to come out. I need to be free. But I can't. I'm not ready. I need you to make me do it."

The risk of rejection is worth the peace of knowing reality. 

Peace and freedom

Episode 10: Release

July 11, 2016

Although it seemed counter-intuitive to continue to see Kyle, there was just one thing I needed him to know. I needed him to know exactly how I felt because I couldn't bear the thought that he didn't know how treasured he is. 

And his response was insane, backwards, unexpected, and most of all - undeserved. His response was a culmination of our entire friendship, and I would argue it represents the gracious relationship that Jesus has with the Church. 

Here's to an upside down way of loving people, a backwards way of sitting in the tension, and staying with someone until they finally realize that maybe things will be okay.

Peace and freedom y'all :)

Episode 09: What We Want

July 4, 2016

Have you ever taken a moment to stop and recognize all the ways you are inhibiting other people from loving you? How many things you are hiding, how many things you assume about the way they'll respond to your truth, how many things you wish to change about yourself before you share your story with the world. 

Love doesn't wait for you to come around.
Love doesn't hold out until you've found your groove.
Love isn't a goal you can achieve.

Love is yours, now. There are real people in the world who will love you with reckless abandon. These are the people who know who God is and what God is. God is made of love, and God made us in love.

This episode is about how I finally started to recognize a pattern in the way that people filled with true love were responding to my heart. This episode was written in hopes that you would find people who would do the same.

Peace and freedom my friends <3